Conscious Solitude is NOT Loneliness
Social surveys and reports in New Zealand provide insights into the prevalence and impacts of loneliness of varying magnitudes across people of different ages. This trend is set to worsen in the future. It is expected that loneliness exists in the Nepali community in some form. Therefore, a discourse is necessary on this topic to raise community awareness.
We come from a culture of extended family where we remain surrounded by family and community members who help foster love, care and support so that people can be closer to each other for their well-being. Intergenerational connectivity and participation in a joint-style family play important roles in bridging the gap between the growing and ageing population. Over the past 30 years since my immigration to NZ, I have witnessed a significant social and cultural transformation within our communities. While elders are attempting to retain traditional values of collective living that provide a rich, supportive and interconnected environment; the younger generations are shifting towards Western individualistic lifestyles that emphasize personal autonomy and the pursuit of individual goals and aspirations. How much to keep from ours and how much to adopt from NZ is a complex matter and depends on individual preferences, circumstances and goals. A balance between preserving our cultural identity and embracing elements of the New Zealand way of life will lead to a more inclusive and diverse society.
Immigrants who come to NZ from different backgrounds and perspectives than the host country face cultural shocks and emotional distress, we are no different in this regard. Adapting to a new country is exciting as well as challenging. We have taken a collective approach by setting up community organizations that are playing a significant role in providing a range of services and resources that have eased our transition and helped with psychological, cultural, social, and financial adjustments in building a successful and fulfilling life in New Zealand. The English-speaking immigrants on the other hand do not feel the same need for such organisations due to their language familiarity, cultural similarities, and their pre-established networks in the host country that put them in the privileged group. However, the language can be learnt, and culture can be adopted, they should not be a barrier to success for us. Despite initial social and cultural hardships, it is pleasing to see members of our communities flourish in all spheres of their lives.
Looking forward, there are reasonable efforts made around the globe to build a more promising and sustainable future, our goal is to build resilience and keep a positive mindset. However, staying positive doesn't mean ignoring the challenges we face. The future presents a range of challenges from climate change-related disasters, economic inequality, health crises, the ageing population and the power of rapid technological advancements. People’s lives could be overwhelmed by stress and anxieties when their families become separated and disjointed, community organisations that provide support to individuals cease to function and they become unable to adapt to the pace of changing technology. Equally challenging is the people becoming slaves of mobile phones, computers and social media. Excessive dependence on the use of social media will reduce face-to-face interpersonal interactions that can lead to misunderstandings and many times conflicts. The future world will be in a frenzy, marked by the chaotic journey of pursuing personal achievements; a vast number of people especially older adults will not be able to cope with this physically, mentally and emotionally, it can become draining and stressful for them. Many people will be living in loneliness which can have profound adverse effects on their physical and mental well-being. The lack of social interaction and connection, often an unwanted state, can lead to negative emotions. This phase, if not handled and managed appropriately, can lead to loneliness, isolation and depression. For elderly people, social isolation can be a slippery slope. Due to personal conflicts, lack of harmony, the need for personal space, and a lack of trust and safety, people will not want to associate with those they cannot get along with, be it a family member, a community member, or a friend.
So, what options exist for a peaceful, meaningful and fulfilling life in the future?
For many, the meaning of a peaceful life is about understanding their personal values and purposes and making intentional choices that align with their goals and priorities. People who can cope with future challenges will adopt a flexible and resilient mindset and will be able to adapt to changing circumstances, embrace new opportunities, and find ways to thrive and flourish. Those who struggle to manage these challenges and changes will need to find ways to navigate these obstacles. People will respond to challenges in various ways depending on their personal choices and circumstances, some may choose to live in conscious solitude, keeping a distance from social outcry. Life's resilience shines brightest when it is forced to navigate the confines of obstacles and limitations.
Life's resilience shines brightest when it is forced to navigate the confines of limitations (Symbolic)
In both conscious solitude and loneliness, people are alone and on their own. While solitude is an individual’s state of being alone by choice for personal growth, creativity, relaxation, and self-reflection; loneliness is the absence of meaningful social interactions and a painful experience of separation and distance from others.
People who choose to live in conscious solitude will tend to ease their lives by spending time alone for independence, self-care, self-reliance and personal growth. For them, solitude is a state where they can heal pain and trauma, make important decisions in life and take this opportunity for self-discovery. They will value some social interactions and community engagements to have fulfilling relationships and engage with others when needed or desired. But they will need to maintain a balance between solitude and social interactions and recognise that too much solitude can lead to isolation and loneliness. Living in solitude is also a way of avoiding dependence on others and is a departure from matters that drain our lives. It is important to regularly reflect on our feelings during periods of solitude to ensure that we do not slip into loneliness. When someone's life becomes overwhelming and unmanageable due to stress and toxic or unhealthy social environments, it's crucial to seek support and make changes to improve their well-being. In such circumstances, solitude can become a necessity rather than a personal desire for them to maintain psychological and emotional stability. For many, solitude might not be a permanent state but a temporary retreat, it is that part of their lives where individuals withdraw from the world to reassess and rebuild their way forward. When they feel more balanced with their situation they may reconnect to others voluntarily. In essence, living in conscious solitude is not living in loneliness, it is acquiring personal happiness and gaining self-reliance.
