Getting Help

Growing up in Nepal, we were always surrounded by extended families and close nit community. I used to get to witness this well while visiting my birthplace Jhapa where everyone knew everyone else. If there was any major event like birth, marriage, death, festival and more, everyone would come together, help and look after each other. If anyone got sick, the extended family and community would bring food, spend time with the sick person, taking care of them, giving immediate family some relief. It was a beautiful thing to see that the person or family would not have to go through anything on their own as long as it was not anything to do with their mental health.

I started seeing this gap between getting help for physical and mental health from a very young age. Though I was too young to understand it then, I remember seeing a very close friend of one of my uncles roaming around the town scavenging for food and clothes, no family or friends around to look after him or offer any help due to his psychosis. I remember us as kids would run away chanting “paagal aayo, paagal aayo (पागल आयो, पागल आयो)” scared that he would hurt us though he had never shown any aggression towards anyone. Once a person got the label of “paagal (पागल)” there was no coming back as it was thought that there was no cure to the condition. People would either have to spend the rest of their life institutionalized or live in the community but disowned by everyone. It was though that once you go through psychosis, you can never live a normal life again. But how do people get to a point of psychosis? The answer is simple and very complicated at the same time.

Mental health illness like any physical illness, can be treated if diagnosed and treated on time.  I currently work in a mental health trust which helps people who are going through different stages of mental health struggles. I work with people who have been through psychosis, spent time in Hillmorton hospital and then transitioned back into the community where they are leading a normal life, hold a stable job and have family that they look after. I work with several staff members who have lived experience with mental illness and now are helping other people get through their struggles. I feel really privileged to be part of this trust where I can work with people who have lived experience, and I don’t have to hesitate to share my struggles with depression.

Talking about your struggles is frowned upon in a lot of Asian community and if you even think of going to a Psychiatrist/ Psychologist for help with your struggles, you might as well distant yourself from the society. I have spoken to a lot of people who are hesitant to get any help with their struggles fearing how their family and friends would react to them admitting that they are unwell and need help. I have witnessed a lot of dismissal and denial from family when their loved one is trying to get help due to the sigma around mental health struggles. The first step to getting any help or treatment is to be able to talk to your family and friends about it just like we do with our physical health. Like we usually see, we openly talk about a broken bone, but it can be extremely difficult to talk about chemical imbalance in our brain that is affecting our mental health. In both scenarios, a person is unwell and trying to get help, but these two conditions are perceived very differently. A person who has broken a bone, cancer or any other physical illness can get back to work force pretty quick compared to a person who has a history of psychosis or addiction, and people will usually try to hide it from everyone around them.

So, how can peopled be helped before it gets to a state of complete breakdown, mania/ psychosis or even worse, suicide? Getting proper help right from the start. Listen to people when they talk to you about their struggle. Something that may seem very small to you can be massive for that person, same event can have different effect on people. One simple example can be two people who have been through same event as a house fire. One person may take it as the worse thing that happened to them where they lost all their belonging and get very traumatized by that event whereas another person may take it as an event where they lost all their belongings but were still grateful that they were unhurt. Both the people in this scenario need help, for the second person, they may need help with replacing their things and rebuilding their house whereas the first person will need therapy to help with their trauma along with help to replace their belongings and rebuilding their house. For the second person, if they don’t help with their mental trauma, they may end up isolating themselves, getting depressed, PTSD which may even lead to them getting very unwell.

So how can we help someone who is going through these struggles? The first step is to provide them with a non-judgmental environment to be able to talk and express themselves. But sometimes it’s not about the fear of not being supported but the lack of knowledge about where to start when you want to get the help you need. I have tried to compile here few of the services that are available. Please share this information if you or anyone you know is needing any help. I will highlight some of the services that people may find helpful and provide websites where further information can be obtained.

1) Need to talk: you can either call or text the number 1737 if you are feeling lost and need to talk to someone. You have a choice to talk to a professional or someone who has been through mental health struggle who is willing to lend you a listening ear and provide you with help. More information can be found on https://1737.org.nz/

2)  GP practice: you can get referral from your GP to see counsellors for 5 free sessions. You can also see Health Improvement Practitioner for free in most GP practices.

3) OCP/ EAP through work:  most workplaces provide thee free counselling sessions per year for all employee and your counsellor can request more sessions if required which has to be approved by your manager. This is confidential service where the employer does not get information about which employee is utilizing the service.

4)   ACC: provides mental health support to people who have suffered from mental health trauma like PTSD resulting from sexual violence. There are various options like counselling, traditional healing, support for partner and family, all funded by ACC. This service can be utilized at any point in your life, has no time limit of when the assault happened or weather or not you have reported the assault. Offered to anyone living in New Zealand who have suffered the assault while living here. https://www.acc.co.nz/for-providers/provide-services/sensitive-claims/

5)  Skylight trust (https://www.skylight.org.nz/) provides free service where you can self-refer. Some of the services they provide are:

a)   Programs at schools, support for children and family.

b)  Waves program that is designed to help with grievance from suicide- helped me a lot to get through my grief from my dad’s loss to suicide.

c)   Parenting through separation to help parents and children go through the process.

6) Stepping Stone Trust (https://stepstone.org.nz/all-services/) provide various types of support ranging from peer support, education, planned and crisis respite and many more. The services are free and you may be able to self-refer, need GP referral or Specialist Mental Health team referral depending on which service you want to access.  The services start from 7 years old to adults.

a)   Planned respite is a service that your GP can refer you to, you can spend 3 days at a time in the respite house and up to 28 days a year if you are struggling with your mental health and needing a break from your family.

b)  Crisis respite is a service that you GP or Special Mental health team can refer you to if you are having a mental health crisis and needing to spend sometime away from home and under professional care.

c)   There are various other services which I can’t highlight all in here.

7) Step Ahead (https://stepahead.org.nz/) is a free service which helps by providing various group activities.

8) NZ Council of Christian Social Services (nzccss.org.nz) provides free counselling sessions where you can self-refer.

There may be various other services available out there that I am not aware of but hope this will help someone make a start to getting help towards a better mental health. If you have a current struggle and wanting to talk to someone, please don’t hesitate to contact me on b.dksha@gmail.com. I will do my best to guide you towards the direction to get further help. I am not a professional mental health practitioner but can lend you a listening ear.